Over two thousand were in attendance at the Sevierville Events Center for the Sixth Annual PTP Workshop. I was asked to speak Friday night, August 28, during the Spiritual Renewal weekend. I was specifically asked to address the topic: What To Do When A Friend, Relative Or Church Member Tries To Commit Suicide. I had a handout during the session, but a number of you who were not present have asked for my outline. I thought I would post an abbreviated version on my blog site this week. I hope the information is helpful.
SUICIDE: A CONTRADICTION
SURVIVAL is at the core of natural human drives. We, under normal conditions, will practice "fight or flight" in order to assure that we survive.
SUICIDE runs counter to normal emotional forces. The suicidal person loses the value and meaning of life. They have feelings of failure or friendlessness. They are typically filled with inward guilt or hopelessness that leads to depression. The following stats should cause us to realize that the likelihood that we will know someone who has attempted suicide is great. So, it behoves us to learn better how to respond in such situations.
NATIONAL SUICIDE STATISTICS
- Over 33,000 die annually in US from suicide
- Fourth leading cause of death of those ages 18-65 (27,321)
- Fifth leading cause of death among those 5-14 years old
- Third leading cause of death among those 15-24 years old
- Ninety percent of all who die by suicide have a diagnosable psychiatric disorder
FACTS AND FIGURES
- There are four male suicides for every female, but three times as many females as males attempt suicide
- The suicide rate for men rise with age, most significantly after age 65
- The rate of suicide in men 65+ is seven times that of females the same age
- Over 60 percent of all people who die by suicide suffer from major depression (if alcohol is involved, the figure rises to over 75%
- Depression affects nearly 10 percent of Americans ages 18 and over in a given year (24 million)
- More suffer from depression than coronary heart disease (17 million) or cancer (12 million)
- Depression is among the most treatable of psychiatric illnesses (80 to 90 % respond to treatment)
DO’S AND DON’TS:
There are three Bible texts that illustrate groups and individuals in what appears to be a hopeless condition and they want to end their life:
1) The Israelites as they felt trapped with the Red Sea in front of them and the Egyptians pursuing them (Exodus 14:10-16)
2) Elijah wanted to die as wicked Jezebel threatened his life (1 Kings 19)
3) The Philippian jailer was about to take his own life when he thought the prisoners had escaped (Acts 16:25-40).
After reading the passages referenced, see if you can identify the suggested Do's that were followed in each of the contexts.
Do Stabilize the Situation
- Restore as much quietness and calmness as possible
- Reduce the feelings of panic and hopelessness
- Record the facts from the person who has attempted suicide or that person’s caregiver
- Reclaim hope by focusing the conversation on proactive things that give meaning to life
Do Recognize The Source Of Our Salvation
- With the Lord on our side, the situation is never hopeless (Phil. 4:13)
- Remind the individual and family members that the Lord always provides a way of salvation (escape) (1 Cor. 10:13)
- With the Lord, we are never alone (Heb. 13:5, 6)
Do Mobilize Those Who Have Made Preparation
- Make sure the suicidal individual and their family have what they need to move forward
- Mobilize an army of capable helpers willing to make the journey with them (Ideally: trained professional in the congregation, compassionate shepherds, ministers, caring and confidential friends)
- Maintain a list of medical and mental health resources to share with individuals and their families
DON'TS
Don’t Sensationalize
- To accentuate the trauma and tragedy of any situation only heightens the anxiety and promotes panic and confusion
- If we sensationalize the situation, we could make the suicidal person feel either like a celebrity or failure and encourage repeated behavior
- Sensationalism intensifies the pressure on the family and is the breeding ground for rumors
Don’t Rationalize Behavior
- Suicide is not a rational behavior
- Suicidal persons do not need to have their actions excused
- Only professionally trained caregivers should assess behavior and offer analysis
Don’t Stigmatize the Person
- Labels are not helpful and will only contribute to further hopelessness
- Help the suicidal person (and their family) focus on who they can be, not where they have been (1 Cor. 6:11)
- We do not want to cause the suicidal person to be “swallowed up with overmuch sorrow” (2 Cor. 2:7)
MAJOR WARNING SIGNS
There are some obvious signs that all caring people should never ignore. If anyone expresses the following behavior, you should take immediate action or seek immediate help:
- Threatening to hurt or kill oneself
- Looking for a means to kill oneself (weapons, pills, etc)
- Talking or writing about death
- Has made plans
OTHER SIGNS
As caring Christians, we should learn to pay closer attention to what we witness in people's lives. The following signs are not as obvious as the ones mentioned above, but may indicate earlier thoughts of suicide:
- Acting reckless or engaging in risky activities
- Engaging in violent or self-destructive behavior
- Increasing use of alcohol or other drugs
- Withdrawal from friends or family
WHAT YOU CAN DO
In a general context, we can all do the following for a person who may have suicidal thoughts:
- Take every threat seriously
- Take time to listen
- Take them to a trained professional
WHAT TO DO IN A CRISIS
If someone makes a suicide threat in your presence, that makes the situation a crisis. You must be prepared to do the following:
- Do not leave the suicidal person alone
- Remove any known means of suicide
- Take the person to the emergency room
- If the above options are unavailable, call 911